Anger is a natural and healthy emotion. But when it gets out of control, it can have serious consequences for our personal relationships, health, and mood.
Two important elements can lead to a more peaceful life is about being aware of the reasons why we get angry and learn effective ways we can deal with temper tantrums.
Learn to understand the anger
The emotion rage is not basically good or bad. It is normal to get upset when you are treated badly or unfairly. The feeling itself is not the problem. It is rather the question of what makes you feel that makes the difference. Anger then becomes a problem, even if others of the kind you deal with it are hurt.
The problem is that people with a strong personality often have to express their anger and leave it out. And that again affects people in their environment. But it is possible to learn how to express this emotion without harming others. If you succeed, you will not only feel better, but it will also help you to satisfy your needs better.
To bring your own anger under control, however, is hard work. But with a little practice you get to the goal and the reward can be very big. To learn how to control his anger and bring it right to express, can help you build better relationships to achieve your goals and live a healthy, happy life.
How to deal with anger
Step 1: Discover what is really behind your anger
If you feel like you’re out of control, you need to figure out what’s the reason. Often, problems of dealing with anger are the consequences of something you have learned in your childhood. Then you react in a way that you have also observed with other people around you. In such cases, this means that you have caught and accepted a certain idea of how to express anger (for example, by shouting at someone, throwing things around, striking something, slamming the door, screaming, etc.) have taken on this kind of behavior, then traumatic events or high stress levels can make you vulnerable to anger and this behavior reappears.
Normally, other feelings conceal themselves behind the anger. When you feel like you are determined by anger, ask yourself if you are really angry or if you just show anger to cover other emotions such as shame, insecurity, pain and vulnerability.
As an adult, it may not be easy for you to feel other feelings besides anger. This is especially true when one has grown up in an environment in which it was not liked to express oneself.
Step 2: Identify what triggers your anger and what warning signs are there
Before you can formally explode with rage, there is a warning sign in the body which you should pay attention to. Anger is a normal physical reaction. Pay attention therefore to the warning signs, which signal to you that you are just about to burst before anger. Lay out a few tactics that help you deal with your anger before it gets out of control.
In order to be able to do so, you should pay attention to how anger is felt in your body. The following characters can occur:
- Knot in the belly
- tighten the jaw or bite your fists
- faster breathing
- a headache
- the desire or the need to run
- Difficulties to concentrate
- severe heart palpitations
- Tension in your shoulders
Step 3: Learn how to cool down
When you’ve learned to recognize the warning signs for the anger and the triggers, you can react quickly and tackle your anger before it gets out of control. There are many techniques that help to get back down and bring the anger back under control. Here are some simple tips:
Focus on what your body feels during anger. If you are regularly focused on what processes are going on in the body while you are angry, it helps reduce the emotional intensity of the anger itself.
Breath a few times deeply. Slowly and deeply breathing helps to counter the tension. It is important to breathe really deeply and out of the belly and to suck as much air as possible.
Move. Movement helps to get rid of sputtered energy. Then you can tackle the situation again with clear minds. Use your senses. Use the relaxing